I really can't think of a clever way to start this blog post, so I'll just go right into it.
For those of you who, like me, refuse to set eye on anything MTV is offering up nowadays (and has for the past 8 years), they had their Movie Awards two days ago. I actually had some interest in watching the proceedings because Andy Samberg, my newest male love interest, was hosting. One of the men behind such comedic gems as "I'm On A Boat", "Jizz In My Pants", and "Lazy Sunday" hosting an MTV-made show. Right away, you can see the tension between each. Mr. Samberg is a comedic genius, and MTV-made shows are not funny. Ever. I eventually forgot the date and missed it.
My college friend, Vicky, texted me the night of the awards, beginning with an inside joke I didn't get. She informed me of a medley of Lonely Island songs sung by LeAnn Rimes and Chris Isaak and others, and I gained interest. But, I didn't see my remote anywhere in my immediate surroundings, and so I didn't switch on my MTV. Mostly because I still didn't want it.
She talked of other skits that, in text form, still sounded hilarious, and so I decided I would, at some point, catch a rerun. I regret that decision for all time.
First off, before I even get into my Twilight rant, let me say this. I don't know how much influence Andy Samberg had in the writing process, but there are clear parts of the show where it's very funny and very not funny, and the funny parts all include him. The jokes just... weren't funny. You could see punchlines coming a mile away. And, even though there were good jokes, it didn't matter much because the audience "refused" to get any of them, instead screaming at innappropriate times.
I should point out that 85% of the audience seemed to be 16 to 16 1/2-year old girls.
Now, also for those who don't know, the movie "Twilight" basically swept the show, taking away 5 of the 10 awards, including "Best Movie." I'm not counting "Best WTF Moment" because that award was clearly invented for no reason at all. My question to the world, at first, was, "Why? Why let this clearly sub-standard film take the glory for things it clearly cannot take the glory for?" It made no sense to me. But then, it hit.
Why would Twilight win against films such as "The Dark Knight"? Such as "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"? Such as... "Slumdog Millionaire"? That's right, it won over Slumdog Millionaire. That was what made me realize why MTV gave so many awards to "Twilight". They wanted to make a funny.
As you know, "Slumdog Millionaire" swept the Academy Awards, taking 8 of the 10 awards it was nominated for. Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay... all of them and more. So, to make a funny out of it, MTV goes, "Hey! Why don't we have a really bad movie sweep our awards! That'll be so funny!" And so, Twilight wins 5 out of 10. Well, that's my theory anyway. I think it's good regardless, because anyone who says "Twilight" was a better movie than "Slumdog Millionaire" is a GODDAMNED MORON.
Goodnight all.
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